Last Monday was one of the most refreshing days I’ve had in months. I met with two beautiful, godly women, over coffee. They both attend the church I go to, but our friendships are new. You wouldn’t know it though. There was this connection I can’t describe. A sense that we were there in the exact moment we all needed to be, and it felt like we’d known each other for years. In fact, throughout our conversation, we realized how sweet the timing of Jesus can be, when we all shared how we had been specifically praying for friendships like this. People we can be completely real with, and share our raw experiences and situations with. I can’t tell you how much I’ve been needing that. I walked away from our ninety minute date feeling so thankful and blessed. It was a “good for my soul” appointment.
It made me realize how often we as mommies put our needs aside because we have other responsibilities and things calling our attention. Other things to tackle, chores, kids to take care of and pour into, the list goes on. We say things like, “I’ll get to that later,” “I’ll invest in friendships when I have more time,” “I feel guilty taking time for myself,” or, “I don’t have time to take ninety minutes for a coffee date; who are you kidding?” Let me say this: I am just coming out of a chunk of time in my life where, because I was so caught up in my daily “requirements” or things I felt I “had” to do, I was yearning for these precious moments with women that truly care for me, and can look me in the eyes and say, “Brittany, how are you doing? You seem a little off; is everything okay? Can I pray for you?” I went too long without making my time with other women one of my priorities. It’s vital for us to have that. To have true, meaningful friendships, where people pour into you, and you pour into them. That level of transparency and care from people you want surrounding you.
Now, I’m not suggesting you can carve out ninety minutes once per week to take a friend to coffee, or do something else along those lines. What I am encouraging you to do is gather one or two women you trust and talk. Just TALK. Share what life is like right now for each of you. What you may need some prayer for. Your recent achievements, and your current areas for growth. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. I promise you will gain so much from it. And yes, if you can’t get away on your own for a little while, then make time with other women over a play date. Let your kids play safely near you and — this is the hard part — talk about something other than your kids when you have them in the other room and have that time with other mommies.
Every day last week I thanked God for that very special coffee date. Not only were those women an answer to my prayers, but I felt completely met by my Heavenly Father, as He showed me He was listening. He knew what my heart needed. What I needed was to step away from the daily grind that — let’s face it — can get tiring and discouraging. I’ll be the first to admit it. I needed to take that small chunk for myself.
Before we were mommies, we were just us. Women. We have identities outside of being our child(ren)’s mothers, too. We have separate personalities, desires, interests, etc., and we need to remember that it’s okay to make a little time for ourselves. It’s okay to leave our children in the care of someone we trust and get away for a little while. It’s okay to have conversations that aren’t always centered around our kids. Now take a deep breath.
So as you begin your week, think about what you can do in your moments, although they may be brief, that you have to yourself. I encourage you to use those moments wisely. Get refreshed and healthy in your head and in your heart. I know I need that. Do you?